5 Tips for Raising Independent Kids

5 Tips for Raising Independent Kids

As a parent, it’s only natural to feel good knowing that you are needed, wanted and (sometimes) appreciated by your child. Whether they’re in need of a hug, some advice or even just a Vegemite sandwich, it’s both satisfying and humbling to be able to provide for our kids when they need us. 

With that in mind, it can also be really difficult to balance that desire to be “wanted” by our children as we simultaneously encourage them to become young people who are independent and capable. Luckily for us, we can help them do so with minimal effort and guidance. It’s the small steps that add up when it comes to helping a child improve their confidence and embrace their independence, so here are 5 simple tips to get you started. 

1. Encourage Effort
Your child doesn’t expect you to be a perfect parent, and there is certainly no benefit in expecting perfection from your kids. Kids make mistakes – it’s just part of life. Rather than getting frustrated with them when they don’t achieve something to the standard you would have hoped for, give them a pat on the back and commend them for their effort. For many children, the fear of failure is so deeply imbedded in their mind that they often won’t even attempt something. Encourage your kids to get out of their comfort zone by trying new things and being creative with their approaches. This will not only boost their confidence and comfort, but will also encourage them to take on more tasks in the future knowing that they have their parents support. 

2. Encourage Contributions
It goes without saying that each member of a family plays an important role when it comes to running a successful, harmonious household. Whether it’s setting out the cutlery before a meal or picking up toys after play time, encourage your kids to contribute in age-appropriate tasks to show them the importance of working as a team. Allowing your children to take charge of these simple tasks also shows them that they are an invaluable addition to the household and proves to them that things wouldn’t run as smoothly without them. This approach encourages self-sufficiency and a willingness to help others.  

3. Promote Problem Solving
More often than not, it’s the natural instinct of a parent to jump in and “fix” a situation that doesn’t go to plan. While it isn’t easy to do, try to challenge this instinct and instead wait a few moments. Rather than solving the problem for your child, allow them the opportunity to do it on their own. There is nothing wrong with your child making a mistake, and doing so is the easiest way for them to grow and learn. Ask your child “How?” questions to promote problem-solving skills and creative thinking. If you are quick to provide all the answers, your child is less likely to learn to think for themselves. 

4. Allow them to Learn
One of the easiest ways to encourage resilience and independence in children is to allow them to experience the consequences of their actions. At the end of the day, “bad” decisions result in “bad” consequences, and it is important for children to learn this in a guided environment. Tough love can sometimes be a very effective approach when it comes to teaching your children to take responsibility for their choices in life, and will certainly encourage more forward-thinking in the future. On a brighter note, as your children learn to do things more independently, they will also learn to reap the rewards of their positive behaviour/actions, too!

5. Let the Reins Go
No matter the circumstances, each and every day of life is filled with hundreds of choices. Apple or banana? Drive or take the bus? Stay up late and watch a movie or get an extra hour of sleep? While these choices are seemingly small and insignificant, allowing your children to make these decisions promotes control and independent thinking. By placing the ball in your child’s court, you are also teaching them to take ownership of their decisions and to trust their gut in making the right decisions for themselves. 

Raising children to be independent thinkers is a little scary for some parents at first, and rightly so. But don’t worry… No matter how it may feel at times, your children will ALWAYS need you in one way or another. Teaching your children to do things for themselves simply showcases your ability to be an amazing parent and to put their success first. 

Until next time,

Em x

My 3 kiddies <3