The bitter and the sweet of your baby starting prep

As parents, it’s always tough to see our little ones grow up so quickly before our eyes.

Despite the years flying by so quickly, it’s always a little difficult to accept that our babies are no longer small enough to rest against our chest and that, at some point, our babies grow to be toddlers, our toddlers grow to be children and our children grow to be teenagers (Yikes).

For me, this big realisation hits me when my children embark on their first day of school. My youngest started prep last week and let me tell you, it was certainly a huge day for us both! As exciting or nerve-wracking that first day of school is for children, and rightly so, it’s easy to forget what this process is like for the parents. A mix of words such as “terrifying”, “joy”, “freedom” and “NOPE” come to mind here. We all want to reassure our kids that school will be all kinds of fun and amazing for them, though we’re often not too confident of that ourselves.

My youngest always struggled with childcare. Throughout the entire 2.5 years he attended, he was never fully comfortable and never excited to leave the house. As a Mum, you can imagine how hard this was to cope with some days. I knew that this came down to my son’s shy and timid nature around other kids, despite being the loudest and cheekiest at home! I hated the thought of my son feeling sad or overwhelmed while he was away from me, and I wish I could count the amount of times I left his childcare after drop-off with puffy eyes, running mascara and an undoubtedly hideous facial expression that no other human should ever be subjected to viewing…

Despite reassurance from my son’s teacher that he was doing okay and his behaviour and emotions were perfectly normal, it broke my heart to see my son upset and scared. I’d gone in with high hopes as he was so eager and excited to start – right up until it was time to walk to school. This is where the fear set in, and where we started to crumble a little bit. He didn’t want anyone to see his tears so he bravely held them back, and admittedly, he did relax a little when he met his teacher and saw the other kids in his class. Still, though, I knew just how terrified he was and as much as I wanted to brush this off as classic first-day nerves, it made me super emotional myself. I walked away holding back my own tears!

When push comes to shove, the transition of starting school is often just as hard for parents as it is for children. Sometimes, that leaves us a little emotional… And hey, we’re only human! With that said, it’s important for us to set a good example for our kids and to reassure them that they’re going to be just fine – Because they will. Having done this a couple of times now, I’ve found a few things in particular to help with those first-day tears and fears, and I thought it might be helpful for some to share. As Mums and Dads, we’re all in this together!

1. Prepare yourself.
Of course the ironed uniform and balanced lunchbox is important, but don’t forget to prepare yourself too. If you’ve already had a child start school in the past, I suggest focusing on their success and achievements since joining the school environment to remind you that things will be okay and that your child WILL become comfortable with time. If you’re a first timer, have a think back to your own school experience – You survived, didn’t you? You know your child better than anyone else and whether you see it or not, you have plenty of tips and tricks up your sleeve to help your child settle and have a little giggle despite those nerves. Perhaps you can sing a favourite song on the way to school or pack a special toy to hold if things become a bit too much. Take a few deep breaths yourself and remember, 3pm is never too far away!

2. Walk away.
By no means does it make you a “bad” or “mean” parent to walk away when your child is in tears. Let’s be real, we could stay with our kids all day and it’s likely that they might still cry when we say we’re going to bed. Prepare your child for your departure and give them a 10 minute warning (and stick to it!). A big cuddle and some reassuring words will go down a treat, and be sure to remind them that their friendly teacher is here to help and that there are plenty of lovely classmates who are probably feeling just as nervous. Your child will learn that school is an independent adventure and something that Mum and Dad can’t always join in on and trust me, they’ll learn to become perfectly okay with this (Almost too okay…).

3. Keep it simple.

Of course you’ll be excited to see your child at the end of their first school day, though I recommend not overdoing it with too much fuss or too many questions. Our children learn from our behaviour and since school is a perfectly normal aspect to life, we don’t want to get them too worked up and stimulated about it. Keep your questions simple. Who did they sit with at lunch? What did they do with their class before lunch time? As eager as you are to know, try not to demand a full run-down of your child’s day as this is likely to potentially overwhelm them. Don’t worry if you get an “I don’t know” or “I can’t remember” response – They’ve had a lot to take in! You probably don’t even remember brushing your teeth today… Wait, did you? Just kidding.

Breathe in and breathe out. If you need an extra coffee on this crazy day, go for it. If you need to scream into a pillow, go for it. If you need to your hug your little one a little longer than usual before seeing them off, go for it. Do what you need to do and remember everything will be just fine in the end. Feel free to enjoy that little extra peace and quiet and feel free to be an emotional wreck, it’s your rite of passage!

Em x