Tips for Co-Parenting
Co-parenting is a job that will challenge you each and every day, often in ways you might not even imagine.
While it certainly isn’t easy to do, establishing a positive co-parenting connection is not only beneficial for your child’s wellbeing, but also your own. It’s fair to note that co-parenting is a process that takes a lot of time and patience, though there are a few things you can do to make the transition a little easier for everyone involved. Here are my Top 3 Tips for Successful Co-Parenting:
Tip 1: Evaluate your Emotions
Successful co-parenting requires you to put your emotions aside in order to prioritise your child/children. Of course, this is something that is easier said than done and it’s important to remember that it’s perfectly okay to feel sad, angry, resentful or hurt throughout the process. Setting these feelings aside is undoubtedly one of the most difficult aspects when it comes to cooperating with your ex-partner, though it’s also (by far) the most important.
Rather than letting your emotions dictate your behaviour, simply acknowledge them and accept them for what they are. You are completely entitled to feel the way that you do. Remember that the best outcome for your child/children will come from a positive co-parenting experience and keep in mind that any unresolved issues are yours to manage, and not the responsibility of your child.
Tip 2: Teamwork makes the Dream Work
You don’t have to like your ex, but you do need to work with them to achieve a successful co-parenting partnership. Rather than bickering and arguing, make an active effort to cooperate and communicate to the best of your ability – This is simply easier for everyone involved!
Consistency is key when it comes to co-parenting. As your child learns to adapt to new living arrangements and a new family dynamic, it’s important that they remember that they will be living under the same basic set of expectations at each home. Rules and guidelines should be as consistent as possible, particularly when it comes to things such as household expectations, curfews, social outings and general “do’s and don’ts”. Being consistent with each other’s schedule will also make things much easier for everyone, too. Having a regular routine when it comes to meals, homework and bedtimes makes a big difference towards helping your child adjust to living between two homes.
Tip 3: Plan Ahead
This is probably the most simple tip, but also the most effective. Planning ahead when it comes to co-parenting is the easiest way to avoid miscommunication, confusion and conflict. Let’s be honest, your kids are likely to forget specific details when it comes to things such as schedules, holidays, family occasions and structured activities. It’s up to you and your ex to make sure things go according to plan as much as possible for not only your child’s sake and sanity, but also your own.
To reduce frustration and uncertainty, utilise a calendar to clearly mark all upcoming special occasions, commitments, appointments and activities. You should also list whose household your child will be staying in on these particular days to make sure there is no confusion when it comes to transport or timing. Both you and your ex should have a copy of this calendar to keep handy, meaning that each partner now has reliable access to that important info well ahead of time. Simple!
