Parenting – Nobody said it was easy!

There is one word for those Mum’s and Dad’s out there who say that parenting is a piece of cake. Liars.

Ha, just kidding. But not really kidding. As beautiful and rewarding as it is to be a parent, it’s certainly no easy gig. It goes without saying that we are all doing the best that we can and it can be completely disheartening to feel as though we sometimes just aren’t “getting it”.  But that’s just it – There’s no such thing as a perfect parent. Just as there’s no such thing as a perfect child, parents will always be growing and learning as they go along.

One of the toughest things about parenting is the lack of recognition and appreciation that tends to go hand in hand with raising a child. This often causes us to invalidate our own successes which furthermore spins that cycle of self-doubt and self-critique. But you know what? It takes a special kind of somebody to be a parent. We deserve to give ourselves more credit and we deserve to appreciate the hard yards we go through to prioritise our kids. 

Rather than focusing on what we can do better, why don’t we focus on what our biggest strengths as a parent are? By taking the time to slow down and think about our successes, our gains and our abilities, we are taking the time to embrace and enhance our personal qualities. 

So, throw your ego aside for a second. Forget humility and just be honest. What is your biggest strength as a Mum or Dad? What might another parent sitting at the park admire about you if they were to watch the way you interact with your child?

Now, how can we build on those strengths? I encourage you to give these simple tricks a go – You might just surprise yourself with how good you feel!

Own your power
Write a short list of what brings you the most pride about being a parent. Make sure this is relevant to YOUR success, not the success of your child. Think about those achievements and those “Yes!” moments that other people might not even notice. Now, take it one step further by thinking about those moments where you probably could have improved or done something differently, but you were still able to bounce back and pull it off the next time. Those moments are when transformation occurs. 

See if you can add 10 points to your list. Better yet, can you go even higher?

Acknowledge what helps you to be your best
We all know that it’s easier to be a superstar parent when your child is well behaved and having a great day of their own. Unfortunately, this isn’t an everyday reality. With that in mind, what helps you to be your personal best as a parent, even when your child isn’t exactly making life easy? 

What might help you to become that parent on a more regular basis? Can you think of a way to integrate this into each and every day? How can you provide yourself with this support until it becomes a habit for you? Don’t be afraid to draw on the support of your partner here. After all, teamwork makes the dream work…
Practice self-praise
While I understand that it isn’t always an easy or comfortable thing to do, try to give yourself an internal hug or high five each time you notice yourself parenting in a way that makes you feel good about yourself. When we feel good about ourselves, we’re encouraging ourselves to continue this behaviour and extend it in further ways (often without even realizing!). Positive reinforcement is one of the oldest tricks in the books, but I can guarantee that it’s a winner for any age group. 

How about those times when you don’t feel so good about yourself? Turn a negative into a positive by using them as motivation to do things a little differently next time. Resist the natural urge to beat yourself up or scrutinize every little move – It just isn’t helpful. Let those tough moments go and move on to bigger and better things. Not only will taking the time to appreciate yourself as a parent make YOU happier, but the difference will also be clear as day to your child. 

Remember, no parent is perfect. So long as you do your best each and every day, you can go to sleep knowing you’ve absolutely rocked it.  You’ve got this, Mum’s and Dad’s!

Until next time,

Em